How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We have started to decorate penises.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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