you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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