New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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