She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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