So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
