I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
