I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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