Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
