You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Drake has all the answers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
