Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
sex in a hospital.. check
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
