If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
