Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
why do cheetos always look like penises
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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