Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize