I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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