So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
