You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
