Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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