i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
