do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
