She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
