I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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