Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize