oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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