I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The Olympian is in my bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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