i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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