Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
