The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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