her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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