and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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