its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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