Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
