i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
