ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
