If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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