Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
