Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
