Who did Billy Mays play for?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
