I love black thongs
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
