Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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