I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
