dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
