Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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