My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was confusing and full of hummus
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
