my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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