I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
