i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
