dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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