Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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