Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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