Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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