was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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