It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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