addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
