I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
