In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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