Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
