You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
