This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
