somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
