How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
