i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
