Girls should come with a carfax report
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
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College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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