You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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