He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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